All Things Work for Good

"For we know that all things work for good for those who love God who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

This verse is one of the hardest to accept and to believe.

All things.


It does not say that some things work for good. That I could believe quite easily. But this means that the messy works for good.

That my brokenness works for good.

That my struggles work for good.

That my weakness works for good.


All things. That includes those parts of my life and of me that I like the very least. The things about myself that I do not love.

God uses it all for good.

The good, the bad, the ugly, the messy. He uses all of it for good and there is nothing you and I can do to change that if we let Him have it all..

He will use your struggle and your failure, your doubt and your fear, your insecurity and your insincerity.

He uses all of it.


This verse then, as hard as it is to believe, is what I turn to in tough moments..

Because no matter what the struggle, even when I do not know how, I do know that he WILL use it for good.

This is one of those verses to write out on a notecard. To put it somewhere you look often, to read it over and over again. So in tough moments, the words will come back to you.

"For we know that all things work for good for those who love God who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28


Be not Afraid.
~ Emily

Heroes

 

There is not a single person who aspires to mediocrity. 

Not one. 

Every person aspires to greatness. 

Think back to when you were younger. I'm talking about 5 or 6 years old. What did you want to be when you grew up? 

A firefighter. A teacher. A pro-football player. An astronaut. A movie star. The list goes on. For my little sister, the current career of choice is a policewoman. 

When we were little kids, regardless of how we wanted to do it, we all wanted to be the same thing. 

We all wanted to be great. We wanted to be the best. We wanted to be the ones who overcame adversity and became what we were meant to be, the ones who did something worthwhile.

We wanted to be heroes. 

There is a desire inside all of us to be more than we are. To be part of something bigger. To go against the tide and be extraordinary. 

And that only applies to our careers, right? To the things of the world. No way that could have anything to do with our faith...right? 

Wrong.


Dictionary.com defines a hero as "a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities".

Most of the time this brings to mind knights in shining armor in a land far away, battling fire-breathing dragons. Nice, but not immediately applicable in our lives. Because of this we tend to write off the whole idea of heroism and say there's little room for it in the modern world.

But it's not true. The world needs heroes as much as it ever will. The Church needs heroes as much as it ever has.


Heroism is absolutely applicable to our faith; in fact, it's essential. What is more noble than Christ's cause? What is more courageous than to go against the societal norm for His sake? What takes more bravery than to lay down your life for another?

As Christians, this is exactly what God asks of us.


Jesus isn't really Mr. Popular right now. Look around. Everywhere we look, virtue is ridiculed, goodness is mocked, and truth is silenced. It's an "every man for himself" world.

Everywhere we look, we see the fruit of this terrible seed. We see hunger, we see hurt, we see hopelessness.

But what if it wasn't "every man for himself"? What if it was every man for Him?

What if a radical group of people decided not to be afraid anymore? What if they decided that what the world had to offer them was just not good enough and that everyone deserves something more than the lies it tries to force on us? What if they died to their pride to be truly alive in humility? What if they chose to let their own desires waste away and strove to meet the needs of others? What if they committed the equivalent of social suicide by committing themselves to a life in Christ? What if they laid their lives down in that way?

The results would be unbelievable.

Hunger would be met, hurt would be healed, and hope would be restored.  

If we took the time to be the hands, feet, and voice of Christ in a world that so badly needs Him, we would start to see Heaven on Earth. Not because of us, but because of Him in us.


There's a quote that I love. Mark Hart, a popular speaker and prolific author, once said something along the lines of, "'Thy kingdom come' means my kingdom go." It couldn't be more true.


If we want the world to change, we have to change the world. Just a heads up, the world is not going to like it, and that means it's not going to like us. We will be hated, and shunned, and ridiculed. And that's okay. Heroism thrives in the face of adversity. And if we need anymore convincing:

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

I'm convinced.


It's up to us. It's going to be difficult. It's going to be hard, and it's going to be uncomfortable. But as Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI said, "You were not made for comfort; you were made for greatness."

You were made to be a hero.

Peace be with you.
Caitlin

No One Wants to Be Paralyzed

There are certain Bible passages that I tend to go to a lot.

One of these is the story of the man who is paralyzed and his friends let him down through the roof into a crowded place where Jesus heals him.

I have put myself in this Bible passage multiple times. For this one I like to really use Ignatian Contemplation.

I can see the crowds. I can hear Jesus preaching. I am on top of the roof and it is really hot outside.

Put yourself in that situation. Right now. Practice using Ignatian Contemplation with this passage before you read any further. Mark 2.

Smell the smells, drink it in, soak in the moment.


After reading this passage through many times over a period of several months, someone asked me...

"Who were you?" 

"Were you the paralytic?"

Then I realized that in all that reading of this passage, I had always put myself in as one of the people on the roof. I was always the one lowering my freind down so they could recieve healing.

I was never the one recieving healing. Never, not once.


Then, I realized that I didn't want to be the person on the mat.

As a person, I want to help others. I want others to receive healing. I want others to become better. I want my friends to reach their fullest potential. As a serious empath, I feel when my friends are suffering and I want them to be healed.

I have struggles like everyone. I have areas where I desperately need healing. I know about these areas and yet I had never put myself in the story as a the person on the mat.


I need healing and I know that, but I do not want to be the person who is broken. None of us do. We shrink away from our own brokenness. I would rather tell you about all the struggles I have had. Not the struggles that I have now.

I am relatively comfortable telling you I used to have a eating disorder. Telling you I suffer from anxiety and depression now is another story however.


We do not want to be in need of healing so we pretend we are not. Even to ourselves.

I would love to tell you about the healing I have received, how I am all better.

But that is not the truth.


The truth is that as humans we are scared of vulnerability. We are scared of being hurt. We are scared of showing someone else our gaping wounds. We are scared of showing our brokenness.

I do not want to admit my own brokenness, my own need of healing. That is why I never put myself as the man on the mat. I'd rather just pretend that I'm just fine and go on lying to myself, my friends, and even God.

Only the truth is that He knows.


No matter how much I pretend that I do not need healing, that I am totally fine, He knows. God knows how much I need his healing.

He knows and all He wants to do is heal me. He wants me to be the man on the mat.


I know all of this and yet I am not healed. I do not know how or when he wants to heal me. I do know that he has given me my struggles for a reason, so that I can help others.

I do know that God knows my struggle and more than anything else He wants to be with me in my struggle. He just wants me to acknowledge that I am hurting so I can acknowledge just how much He desperately wants to be with me in my struggle.

I do not know the mind of the Healer or the ways that He works. But I do know that He is with me, by my side every step of the way.


I was talking to a friend about all my struggles one day and he told me, "It might not feel like this, but God is closer to you now than ever before."


So... when you feel like the man on the mat, remember that.

God is closer to you now than ever before.


Be not Afraid.
~Emily

Band-aids

"I'm okay. I'm getting better."

I can't even count how many times I've said this over the past year and a half, but I could probably count on one hand the number of times it's been true.

I have had scrupulosity for the last two years. When a person is scrupulous, they see sin where there is no sin. Everyday is a battle against yourself, fighting invisible monsters and waging impossible wars. It completely takes over your life.

My scrupulosity is heavily based in another issue I have: OCD. I've had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder since I was six, but in ninth grade the scrupulosity started. In order to get rid of it, I have to deal with the OCD.


This means therapy. Which is long and hard and scary. It's a painful process, and I'm not excited about it.

I'm so not excited about it that I'd almost rather continue coping with everything just the way it is. I'd rather keep on keeping on with my head down and my heart closed and continue hurting, just so I don't have to face it.

It's like putting a band-aid on your scraped knee while you're bleeding to death from a wound in your side.


I think we all do this in some way or another. It's a cultural epidemic. We ignore the responsibilities that keep piling up in favor of mindless occupations which do nothing to enrich our lives. We drink cups upon cups of coffee instead of going to sleep a little earlier. We bury our faces in our phones rather than speak to the person directly across from us because it might just be uncomfortable.

In an even more dangerous way, we do this with our souls. We drown out the whispers of our conscience with the noise of the world. We rationalize our sins so we don't have to abandon them. We avoid prayer like the plague and then wonder why we're miserable.

We treat the symptom, not the cause. We're putting band-aids on our hearts, and it's killing us.


Jesus doesn't do band-aids. He does healing. The Bible is full of stories of how He stopped the hurting and slayed the demons. Everywhere He went, He healed, and He healed completely.

He didn't tell the blind men, "You'll kind of, sort of think you can see." He didn't tell the lepers, "You'll be clean for a while, but the sores will  come back when you let your guard down.". He didn't tell the lame, "You don't get to walk, but you can hop on one foot if you tug on your left ear."

He told them their sins we're forgiven and they were made whole.

Jesus doesn't do delusions. He doesn't do temporary fixes, and He doesn't do conditions. He does real, total, generous renewal.

Go read John 11:1-44. What more proof do we need that Jesus can tackle all our bumps and bruises? He raised a dead man! Surely He can bring us back to life as well.


So, we have two options when it comes to how to deal with our wounds. We can either keep putting on the band-aids and hoping they'll go numb, or we can give them to Jesus and let them go away.

A band-aid is a short-term solution. Believing that somehow it's going to take care of something that truly needs stitches is believing in a lie. It's a rip off that eventually will need to be ripped off. And that will probably hurt more than healing ever would.

Jesus won't heal you halfway. He'll make you new. That doesn't necessarily mean you won't have to do anything, but it does mean you'll never have to do it alone.


Therapy is long and hard and scary. It's a painful process and that's okay. It's what Jesus wants to use to heal me, and ready or not, it's time to let Him. The band-aid's coming off.


What about you? Where are you covering up your problems instead of confronting them? What are you hiding from your Healer because your embarrassed or scared or think you can handle it? You wouldn't try and set a broken bone yourself. Don't try to mend your broken heart.


Peace be with you.
Caitlin

Not Ashamed

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel. It is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: for Jew first, and then Greek.^" Romans 1:16

For I am not ashamed of the Gospel.

These were the words that stuck out to me and I wondered what they meant. That sounds silly, juvenile even. But what do those words mean?

What do those words mean to me?

 For I am not ashamed of the Gospel.

What does this mean for me in my life? It does not mean that I run around with my Bible all the time trying to get people to read it. (Well that's kinda exactly what I do with this project, but people choose to read it, so that's different.)

Talking about the Bible is one thing that I do on here, for one simple reason: I feel called to talk about and share the Bible in this way with all of you.

In my (non-virtual) life however, not being ashamed of the Gospel more often than not means not being ashamed to live it out.


We notice how people live, more than we care or even notice what they have to say.  Still we look at how they live and their lives scream volumes.

I want to live the Gospel out. I do not want to even have to talk about it using words or at least not explicitly.

I think we all know the over-quoted line often attributed St. Francis.

"Preach the Gospel at all times, and when necessary use words."

St. Francis got what it means to not be ashamed of the Bible and he preached the Gospel with his life, with the very way he lived and breathed.


So how do we do that? How do we live the Gospel in our day to day lives?

The way we live the Gospel is first to immerse ourselves in it. To read it. To spend time in the Word not just occasionally but on a daily basis.

I know just how hard this can be. I get distracted or busy. I  try to have a Bible time everyday; actually it is a Bible and coffee time first thing in the morning.

(Full disclosure: Sometimes I totally miss this or forget. Well, I forget the Bible part... but not the coffee part...)

When I do read the Bible, sometimes nothing hits. Nothing really stands out. Most days though, I read it and one part just jumps out at me.

One verse hits me. I try to take that verse, whatever it is, throughout my day. I try to have that verse influence my day and the way that I live.


To live the Gospel, to let your life be a living proof of the Gospel... that is living the Gospel and not being ashamed to do it.

It is less about telling others what to do and more about showing it. It has a lot more to do with living it out. When you make a habit of reading the Bible, even when nothing about it stands out to you, you will stand out to others.


Let your own life be a witness to the truth of the Gospel.

Do not just read it, live it.

Be not ashamed of the Gospel.

Be not Afraid,
-Emily

Choosing Love

I don't always want to be holy.


I don't think anybody does ALL the time. Everyone has days, minutes, moments where they'd rather not do the right thing. It's hard, it's painful, and it's just not always fun.


I struggle a lot with feelings. I allow them to dictate my thoughts and moods in a ridiculous way. I allow them to tell me who I am, even when they're lying.

There are days when I simply don't feel like being holy. I feel like walking away and doing what I want. I feel like it's all for nothing, that it's not worth it and I'm wasting my time. There are days when I feel like God's not there, and if He is He doesn't care. Sometimes I feel like He's not fair and it's His fault and I don't want anything to do with Him.

And sometimes that's okay.


It's okay to feel like that. It's okay to struggle with your faith and to wonder why you even bother.

It's okay to feel like walking away; it's not okay to do it.


One time, in the middle of one of these moments in my life, one of my youth leaders said this to me:

"Faith is not about feelings; it's about fidelity."
 

It's so true. Just because I don't feel like being a good person every waking moment doesn't mean I'm a bad person. At the end of the day, it all boils down to a single resolution...

I decide to be holy.

 

It's a decision, not a feeling. It comes down to choice, not chance. It's up to me and no one else and I choose good.
 

I choose life and love and joy and gentleness and courage and constancy and I choose Him. I choose Jesus.

 

There will be days we don't feel like being holy, and there will be a time when we have to decide if that's enough. Is a fickle, fleeting feeling enough to draw me away from Love Itself?

 

And it's not a one time thing. It's something we ought to ask ourselves in the midst of every trial and temptation. I think if we phrased it to ourselves like that we'd sin a lot less frequently. Is a moment of pleasure worth an eternity of joy? Is this enough to exchange for the Lord of the Universe?

 

Hint: The answer is NO.

 

We all have a choice to make. We can choose apathy, and we can choose skepticism. We can choose the easy way out. But we can also choose Love. I know what I want. What about you?

 

Peace be with you.

Caitlin



Being the Samaritan Woman

I happen to love the woman in the Bible. There are a lot of reasons for that, one of them being that I am a woman and another being that there are not a lot of women in the Bible so I pay special attention to the ones that are.

Each woman in the Bible has a special message, so I listen to each one individually.

One of my favorite of all the woman in the Bible however is the Samaritan woman, commonly known as the Woman at the Well. (John 4:1-42)

Read the Bible passage first! You can find it here: John 4


This woman is a Samaritan. If you know the story of the Good Samaritan and the history behind it, then you're well aware that the Samaritans don't have many friends outside their community. But this woman is an outcast within her community.

How do we know this? Well, most women would have gone to the well in the early morning or later evening, when it wasn't as hot outside, but not this woman. When she comes to the well, it is at the hottest part of the day, alone. She came at the time when she knew no one else would be there; she didn't want to see them, or they didn't want to see her. Either way, we know she's not part of the group.

So here is this woman: a Samaritan, outcast from the world and even from her own people.

I imagine that she felt like the lowest of the low. She is the one that no one wants to talk to at all. She is the one who is spurned.

If I were her, I would feel pretty low.


Who knows how many times the woman walked the hot and dusty roads to a from the well alone? Today is different. Jesus is here, and he asks her for a drink. Then He talks to her and she talks back all about the water and living water (which quite honestly must have sounded like nonsense.)

But this man is talking to her. She is the woman who no decent man would speak too, but there doesn't seem to be anything seedy about Jesus. I'm sure the poor woman was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Which it does.

Because then things get personal.

"Jesus said to her, 'Go call your husband and come back.' The woman answered and said to him, 'I do not have a husband.' Jesus answered her, 'You are right in saying "I do not have a husband." For you have had five husbands and the one you have now is not your husband.'"
John 4:16-18


Jesus knows her. This strange man, a Jew no less, knows things about her. He knows what she has done and He knows how her life has played out. He knows her struggles and her fears. He knows the hidden burdens that she carries. And He looks at her with love. All I can think when I read this passage is I want to see the eyes of Jesus look at me with such love. 

Jesus has just told this woman everything that she has done wrong. He tells her he knows about all of her sin. That doesn't sound very loving to us. We live in a culture that refuses to believe right and wrong even exist, so to us, Jesus sounds like He's being anything but loving.

There are no words where Jesus says "You are loved by the Father", none of that. He simply talks to her. Still, I know that He must also be looking at her with eyes full of the love that he has for her, because nothing else could explain what she does next.

"The woman left her water jar and went into town and said to the people, 'Come see the man who told me everything that I have done.'" John 4:29


We have all done things we are not proud off, some a long time ago, some as recently as yesterday. This woman has been living a life of sin for years...and Someone knows.

Someone knows about all of her sin and all of her mess. He knows. . . and she wants everyone to meet Him?

It's like if I ran into a stranger at Starbucks who started to list all the bad things I had done in my life...

That conversation would be awkward...and at the end of it I would be trying to get away as fast as possible and never go back ever again.. (Even though fall and pumpkin spice lattes are coming. )

Yet this woman turns around and tells everyone. Come meet this man! Based on our modern day methods of communication, that would be like tweeting it, taking a selfie with this man and instagramming it and of course posting it on Facebook...

Can you believe that status?... (complete with selfie):

"Hey look me and the awesome man who told me everything that I have ever done wrong."

Awkward.

This is why I know that when Jesus looked at her, He looked at her with eyes full of love.

She did not want to run away. She did not want to hide. She felt loved and she felt forgiven. She turned around and (at the expense of everyone knowing all she had done) she wanted everyone else to know the love of Jesus. That's what love does; that's what conversion does.


So often, I am the Woman at the Well. I get mired in sin and I let it consume me. I focus on how bad I am. The things I have done. The mistakes I have made. I forget about the love of a Savior which can take it all away. When the woman got that chance, she jumped on it; I forget that I can do that.


The woman was not prepared for the saving encounter at the well. She just wanted to get her water and leave.

Then Jesus stopped her. He looked at her and He saw her. He saw her not for what she had done but for who she was.

That is the reason she turned around and wanted everyone to know. She had been seen for who she was as a person: intimately loved by God.


All that woman did was let herself be open to the love of God. That is it. She opened herself to the transforming power of God's love and He changed her.

This is a lesson for me, and probably for you too. Don't stay mired in your sin or in your muck. Don't stay mired in all the ways you feel inadequate or useless. Don't focus on what you can do for God.

Just let him love you. Just let him love you.


That is why I go back to this Bible passage a lot. I need to be reminded of the love of God, the love of someone who sees all my mess and sin and loves me anyway.

He's one whose love can transform my life.





Be not afraid!
-Emily

Focus

It was the second day of school and I was already behind. I think it ought to go without saying that I am not optimistic for the remainder of my senior year.

I knew it would be like this. I knew that eventually the excitement of a new schedule and the interest in new classes would fade away and the real work would begin.

I just didn't know it would be like this. I didn't know I'd last less than 48 hours before I had to catch up on my assignments.

Though you know, judging by the sporadic nature of my posts, that I'm hardly good at time management!


I really thought this year would be different. I really thought this year, I'm going to stick with it and organize myself so that I'm not drowning in loose leaf, and this year I'm going to be on top of things.

Bang goes that theory.


I wonder why it's always like this for me. I mean really, it's not like I try to get behind. I'm doing my best! So maybe I sleep in a little later in the morning, and yeah, maybe I should get myself put together before noon every once and a while. It's not like it's affecting my work! Just because I take Netflix breaks doesn't mean I have less time for reading, and...

Wait...oh, I see.


Focus. That all too elusive concept. It's nearly impossible for me to focus on any one thing, and I couldn't multitask if you offered me a million dollars.

That's why I'm a terrible driver. :)

But it's also why I'm a distracted student. I have a hard time paying attention to the task at hand. My mind is always going a million miles an hour, but never about schoolwork. It's difficult to keep from chasing rabbits and stick to the path.


On Sunday, the homily (sermon) was about just that: focus. It reminded me of how important it is to focus on God, and let everything else flow from that.

If I'm focused on God and what He wants from me, then I am automatically more inclined to be focused on the important things in life. I will be able to prioritize and can be fully aware of what I'm doing. That doesn't rule out Netflix; it just means that when I do watch Netflix I'm not doing so to the neglect of more important things. This focus not only improves the quality of my work but also the quality of my leisure, so Netflix becomes all the more awesome.

I was so excited about this idea of focus. I was sure I could do this.


Enter Monday, the first day of school.

Not. Focused.

Now, I have two options. Either I can descend into the depths of self-pity because I mean really, I couldn't focus for two days...or, I could look and see what the Bible says about focus.

I've tried the pity thing before, so let's try the Bible.

Let your eyes look straight ahead and your gaze be focused forward.

Proverbs 4:25

 

Be eager to present yourself as acceptable to God, a workman who causes no disgrace, imparting the word of truth without deviation.

2 Timothy 2:15

 

Entrust your works to the Lord, and your plans shall succeed.

Proverbs 16:3

 

 

 

And I'm sure that's just the beginning.

God has an incredible plan for our lives. In order for us to live them, we have to focus on His voice, focus on the task at hand, and focus on the final destination. For many of us, that unfortunately means focusing on our homework.


Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go start my school day. Not that I was putting it off by writing a blog post or anything like that. :)





Peace be with you.
Caitlin

Salvation History Bible Saga

Since we all love Youtube, I love finding videos that are actually applicable to the Bible and then sharing them with you.

This is a ridiculous video that has a timeline for all of Salvation history. It's pretty spectacular.

It's kind of long but totally worth a watch at least once... or twice. :)


Enjoy Salvation History Bible Saga. :)


Because we all need something to spice up our Friday. 




Be not Afraid.
~Emily